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No matter how hard I try, I just can't shake the mister from my mind.. Today I was told I needed to give up on him. It's hard to give up on someone who means so much to you. It's been 49 days and I still miss him. Maybe God placed him in my life not because he needed me, but because I needed him. Thanks Mister D for showing me a good time, but maybe someday you should come back..

Day 24.

Today I am grateful for the opportunity I had to shake Elder Perry's hand in the Dallas airport! He has such a sweet spirit about him and it was so refreshing to be in his presence. I am so grateful for the prophets and apostles we have!! 

Day 23.

Today I am grateful for Fern :) I am so grateful I got to spend the time with her that I did this weekend! I miss my crafting buddy, but am grateful I can still see her! I am also grateful for her sweet baby… She sure loves her favorite aunt Kali :) I always love visiting each and every one of you and wish you all lived closer! I really have the best family in the whole world.

Day 22.

Today, I am grateful for mom's flight benefits!!! And that I can come see any of you whenever I would like. WOOT!

Day 21.

Recently, I read three of Elder Uchtdorf's books and they were wonderful. I am grateful we have apostles that write uplifting things like this for me to read! It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! I'm going to share a few quotes that were awesome that stood out to me…

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop."

"He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely or make mistakes."

and my favorite…

"Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you."

Day 20.

Today, I am grateful for memories… Almost one year ago, exactly I met this boy that I dated for quite some time. Haha- My how things have changed, and I am grateful they did! I am grateful for the wonderful memories that I have with all these lovely ladies. Last year truly was the best year ever.

Day 19.

Today I am grateful for my sewing machine and my love for sewing! I made 6 of the cutest pillowcases today for 6 of the 7 cutest babies in the world! Someday I will find me a man that appreciates my sewing ;)

Day 18.

 

I hate Mondays. But at the same time, I am grateful for them for one reason.. It's the day I get to talk to this girl!! These three things were enough to make my day today. It sucks when your best friend is 680 miles away, but thank you technology- I get to talk to her once a week! *sigh* Only 349 more days!

Day 17.

One year ago today, I bought my baby! I am grateful that I have a good job so that I can afford to buy a nice car at 19 years old! I'm grateful that because of my job, I can live away from home and experience living on your own like college kids should! I love the place I work and the people I work with! I love doing what I do, and the friends I have made at work makes it easier to go every single day. 

Day 16.

Today I am grateful that my parents are so selfless. They are so good to me! I'm grateful my dad devoted the last 2 days to helping me with a horrendous assignment! And I am grateful mom always picks up a little something for me when she goes grocery shopping! They are such wonderful people!

Day 15.

Today I am grateful for this cute little puppy. She is the cutest little thing and always makes me feel so loved when I get home! I secretly love her constant kisses and let her lick my ice cream bowls :)

Day 14.

Today I am grateful grateful that I didn't have to get a safety and emissions done on my car this year, and registration was less than we thought it would be! Hooray for forking out worthless money!

Day 13.

Random picture of the day, but every post needs a picture and I love these girls :)

Today I am grateful I passed cleaning checks. Plain and simple- but I have been stressing over this! I cleaned for about 7 hours and still expected to fail, because rumor has it that no one passes. Last night when I was talking to Daniel he asked me how long it took to clean and I told him I cleaned for two days! He was shocked and said I should have not cleaned, failed, and just paid $20 to have someone else clean it. I am too prideful for that. I couldn't. But it paid off and I was the only one in my apartment that passed on everything! Yay!

Day 12.

WOW! What a crazy day it has been. I spent the last two days working my butt off for my cleaning checks. I'm exhausted. But that doesn't matter. 4 weeks ago today, my life changed dramatically. It's been hard. Definitely one of the most difficult things I have had to deal with. For the first time in 4 weeks, I saw Daniel today. It was wonderful. He helped me get my light fixture down, then we sat and chatted. Sitting there with him again made me see how truly wonderful he is. I wish I could have him back. But that's not the point of this post. Today, I am grateful for my wonderful family! I have the best family in the whole world! Every single one of you, in some way or another helped me get through the last month. I am so grateful for the continuous phone calls I got just to check on me, and the cute things you all say to me on Facebook. I would not have been able to be okay today without you guys. I am so grateful for the love and support that I continually feel. I love you all!!

Day 11.

Today, I am grateful my mom taught me how to work hard and clean! My apartment is pretty nasty- and I have cleaning checks on Wednesday. I spent over 4 hours cleaning tonight and I still have lots to do tomorrow! Yuck. Rumor has it that NO ONE at Carriage Cove passes cleaning checks-- Wish me luck!

Day 10.

Today, I am grateful for Sunday's! I love going to church and getting amazing spiritual enlightenment for the week, but more than anything I LOVE going home and being with family. I definitely have the best family in the whole world! But we sure miss every single one of you, and wish Sunday's were just a massive family party again! 

Day 8.

I'm grateful for Fridays!! And for the break I finally get after an overwhelming week at work. And for fun little pranks we play on co-workers :) A co-worker told Chelsee and I that she HATES the baby shark girls camp song, so we decided to decorate her cubicle with sharks and put the lyrics on the sharks. Ha- I love the people I work with!

Day 9.

I am very grateful that when I am terribly sick I have the best home ever to come to! I am also grateful for a nice fireplace to cozy up in front of when I am sick! And tissues! And wonderful parents who take care of me! And the best neighbors who bring me medicine! Tis the season to be sick- I hate winter.

Day 7.

Today I am very grateful for my dearest roommate Melanie. She is such a sweetheart. I don't know where I would be without her this year! Ever since my wonderful relationship ended, she has been by my side every minute. She has been there to hug me when I needed it most and cried with me while I cried. We have so much fun together and I am so glad we are roommates! I love that we can sit and laugh for hours about the dumbest things, and that we get the biggest thrill from spending our Friday nights behind a mask scaring people. We find joy in the little things like getting free photo collages, and throwing black beans over our balcony. I wouldn't have been able to be okay with where my life is right now and where things are with Daniel without her. I love her and the relationship we have!

Day 6.

I don't think words can even express how grateful I am for these seven kids. These babies mean more to me than anyone will ever know. I can't imagine my life without them. Each one of them can put the biggest smile on my face, even on the hardest days. I am so grateful they are part of our family and wish I lived close enough to kiss their little cheeks everyday! I love every single one of them more than they will ever know! 

Day 5.

Today, I am grateful for Christmas lights to make my room a little more festive! :) Last year, me and Shannon had these exact lights hanging in our room and we would turn them on every single night and listen to Christmas music together. These lights bring back the best memories and a smile to my face! I absolutely love Christmas time and I love when Christmas music finally comes on the radio! I love driving around the neighborhood looking at lights with mom and dad while eating a Little Caesar's pizza in the car! I can't wait for all these things this year! Tis the season! 

Day 4.

Today I am grateful for leftovers. Weird- I hate leftovers. But I am grateful that on days like today when I am at work until 8 o'clock, I can come home and have some delicious food within minutes! Haha

Grateful.

While I am feeling so discouraged, I decided I need to be grateful instead. So here I am hopping on the band wagon and listing what I am grateful for till Thanksgiving!

DAY 1:

I am SO very grateful for my best friend. This girl is incredible. Even though we aren't even in the same state anymore, she never fails to make me laugh and always knows just what to say to make me feel better. She is the best friend that anybody could ever have. Living with her was by far the best year of my life. I miss staying up till 4 in the morning with her telling jokes that weren't funny, but laughing endlessly all night anyway. I can't wait to give her the biggest hug ever one year from TODAY!

DAY 2:

These folks. Man, they are amazing! I have the best parents in the whole world! I am so grateful for the constant love and support I get from them. I am grateful that I can call mom at 12 o'clock, after she is already asleep and that she will listen to me while I cry. I am grateful for dad and that he always carries my laundry to my car for me. I love more than anything that I can go home to them every single week and laugh with them all night. I am grateful that they listen to me as I chat for hours on end. I am grateful that they love me and care about me so much!!

DAY 3:

This one is hard. But I truly am very grateful for this boy. Even though my heart is still completely broken, I can't help but think of all the good that came from my relationship with him. The thing I am most grateful for is that he showed me EXACTLY how I want and know I deserve to be treated. I am grateful for the endless happiness that I felt around him, and for how much he truly did care about me. 

Missing.

It's been one week today, and my heart still hurts just as bad. I feel like everything I do reminds me of him. I wish so badly this boy was still a huge part of my life. When does it get easier?

heartbreak is real.

Labor day was a day I'll never forget. Six and a half weeks ago, I met the most incredible man. The minute I saw him, I knew he would be someone special to me. He was someone that cared about me like I've never been cared for. He made me so incredibly happy and made me want to be a better person everyday. It was the best feeling of my life to be treated the way he treated me. I never thought I could be so crazy about someone in such short time. I never thought I could be as happy as I was. He was perfect in every way- I felt that it was almost too good to be true. I cherish every single second I ever spent with him, as those moments are now just memories.. Dating him was the best 5 1/2 weeks of my life without a doubt. My heart is shattered tonight. Completely broken into a million pieces. I didn't know I could feel like this. I know without a doubt that God's timing is perfect. I know that he came into my life exactly when I needed him- to show me what it felt like to really be loved and to show me how it feels to be treated how I have always felt I deserve. My heart hurts like it has never hurt before- so I just ask one favor from all of you... please say an extra prayer for me. I need it more than anything. 

Gratefulness

Today, words cannot even express how grateful I am feeling for every single one of these people! I have THE best family and friends ever!!!

Carriage Cove

A few weeks before school started, I felt like nothing was going my way. I was on the wait list for my apartment for months and was told I wouldn't get in, all my classes for school got dropped, and I didn't really have friends. I was feeling bad for myself. I didn't want to move out anymore and kept putting it off. I just wanted to stay home forever, but I am so glad I didn't! (although I do miss my ma and pa... Bella too :) Moving out was the best thing I could have done. This semester has been so wonderful. I made some wonderful new friends in my classes, I am feeling very motivated (which is totally weird for me. ha!) and have good grades so far!! The day I moved into my apartment I met this wonderful boy and he makes me so happy! I have hung out with him every single day since I met him. He treats me like I have always dreamed of being treated and puts my happiness before his. True that I only met him two weeks ago, but he has made a good impression! Plus he is really cute :) I kind of like him a lot!!

And- he is in my FHE family... what are the odds of that? Things could not be going any better right now.

Life is good!

Life is incredible right now. Seriously so great. I never thought ending a relationship would be the greatest thing I could have happen right now. When I think of relationships coming to an end, I think of heart break and sadness, but I couldn't be happier. I didn't want it to happen, but now that is has, it has been the best thing ever! I seriously am so blessed, it's crazy! I have the best family and friends ever that look out for me constantly! 

I went on some of the most amazing blind dates this last week and had my eyes opened to some incredible guys that are out there! On Tuesday last week I went out with one of the nicest guys! We doubled with one of his mission companions.  We made cookies and delivered them to all the local fire departments to say thanks for their service! He opened the car door for me at every fire station, and was so sweet! I had so much fun, have been talking to him lots and look forward to the next date :) Isn't he a cutie?

Tuesday afternoon when I went to the bank, this sweet girl that I see at the bank every week told me we were going on a double date Saturday! I was nervous and excited all at the same time! This boy that she told me I would be going out with seemed incredible. Every story she told me showed how much respect he has, and how he truly is a gentleman. She told me that she had talked to him about it and said she would give me the details, but he insisted on calling me himself, that that's the way "real men" do it! I loved it! On my way home from work that afternoon he called me and was so sweet. He lives about 45 minutes away, but insisted he pick me up, because we would be late and he didn't want me driving home! I couldn't wait to meet this kid in person! Saturday came and I was terrified! I didn't know a single person I was going with, but tried to just be myself. He called me and told me he was running late and felt absolutely terrible, so I told him I could me him somewhere and he reluctantly agreed. When I pulled up to where we were meeting, he got out of his car, opened the door of my car and introduced himself with a hug. He opened the door for me and we talked nonstop the whole way back to Springville. Once we got there we met up with his friends and family that we were going with and everyone was very welcoming. We started our drive up the canyon to property that his family owns. While we were waiting at one of the gates for his family that didn't have keys, he asked me if I minded if he call them to see where they were and how long we would be waiting. He felt terrible that he had to use his phone and call them. It's so nice to know that chivalry is not dead! This kid is an absolute gem :) Once we got up there, we made a fire, had s'mores and then the fun began! We had brought a couple different couches, a projector, and stereo. We set up a sheet on the side of his truck and watched a movie in the middle of the canyon on a projector! How fun is that? It was amazing. He was constantly checking on me to make sure I wasn't cold, or to make sure that I was doing okay. I loved it. I loved this kid! He really knows how to treat a girl and it was refreshing to be treated so well! 

Life is too amazing right now. That is all :)

Well... the day has finally come and gone. Or week I should say. It was the hardest week of my life.. and it hasn't been any easier yet. It will get easier with time, but this sucks. I hate saying goodbye more than anything. And saying goodbye to my best friends and some of the people I love most is unbelievably hard. I'm lonely. Very very lonely. But I'll be okay. Only 113 more days. Everyone tells me absence makes the heart grow fonder, but absence sucks. Distance sucks. And having your best friends gone sucks too. Somedays I'm okay, but some days are really hard. It's hard to go from hanging out with these people everyday to not being able to see them or talk to them hardly at all anymore. Today my very best friend left the MTC! I was planning all along to go to the airport, but was told I would only be able to see her for 20 minutes or so and decided it wasn't worth it to get up at 4:30 for that when she would be busy calling family.  Come to find out, she was given the wrong information and sat at the airport for 5 hours... Oh how I wish I would have just gone up.  Mom got to see her and I could not have been more jealous. I miss the days of having these people around me.. I wish I could go back to what life was like a month ago... even two weeks ago. But I'm very grateful I have the family I do that watches out for me!

week of woes

 23 Days from today one of my best friends leaves on her mission!

 23 Days from today one of my other best friends leaves on her mission as well!

 3 weeks from today this cute boy leaves for Alaska :(

And 16 days from today my best friend in the whole world leaves on her mission!

*Proof that the next month is going to suck... Feel free to be my friend! Only if you promise not to leave me.

teenage lovin'

One time I met this boy- in relief society of all places. And I thought he was cute.. really cute. One week later he got my number and I was thrilled. He asked me on a date, then bailed. I thought it was rude, but he was too cute to be mad, so I kept trying. The next week we went on a date. And it was lovely. And since that date we have hung out almost everyday. I think I like him. A lot. Wedding anyone? Just kidding. That's not funny- sorry mom :)